


all you think of lately

by annejumps



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Bottom!Erik, Dom/sub Undertones, Erik Has Feelings, M/M, Mansion Fic, Masturbation, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annejumps/pseuds/annejumps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A desperate, fierce need is running away with him, with a tang of bitter despair that makes him all the more frantic -- is this, here alone like this, the closest he can ever come to what he wants?</p>
            </blockquote>





	all you think of lately

**Author's Note:**

> Riffing on the idea of a subby and frustrated Erik.

Erik is a very private person.

For most of his life, he's needed to be. The last person who'd had intimate control of his body -- well, Erik is on a mission to kill him, and he is rather single-minded about it. Said mission takes up his life, and there’s no real time to go to the trouble of sharing much about himself. Nor is there much opportunity.

Perhaps that's why he's waited until the dead of night to shove down his pajama trousers and take himself in hand, when the mansion’s silent, and he's got the feeling of being utterly alone.

But part of the reason is because he's sure Charles has to be asleep as well at this hour, and therefore almost certainly unable to hear his thoughts. Because these are not thoughts for Charles. They're thoughts _about_ Charles. And no one can know that. Especially Charles.

Erik has never met anyone at all like Charles. There is no basis of comparison. Ever since Charles jumped into the water to save him, Erik’s known that, in some indefinable but real sense, he is Charles’. The thought, however, even as he’s accepted it, rankles him. He’s never been anyone’s. He’s been alone too long; he’s too used to it. He’s earned this independence. With the knowledge that he’s Charles’, however, comes frustration. Because he may not be alone -- something Charles himself told him -- but neither is he with Charles.

Now, though, in complete privacy, he can allow himself to think about those things that taunt him at the back of his mind throughout the day. Thoughts about what Charles would do, what he would say, if he knew Erik is as good as his. If Charles wanted him like that. Which is not at all a sure thing. After all, Charles is kind and caring to everyone, isn’t he?

Erik turns his thoughts away from going down that particular path and instead focuses on the feel of his hand tight around his cock. He’s going slowly now, making himself wait for his own touch, forcing himself to savor every long stroke. 

Charles would do this, he thinks. Charles would tease him, give him no choice but to take whatever Charles thought fit to give him. Charles would know exactly what he wanted, what he needed.

Erik groans, and hastily sheds his pajama trousers. Hand returning to his cock, he spreads his thighs, tilts up his hips, and teases at himself with two dry fingers, not pressing in much. He’s never had anyone fuck him before, but he wants Charles to. 

He groans again at the thought, closing his eyes. Damn, if he’d thought ahead he’d have gotten something to slick up his fingers properly. Unfortunately, the containers that might have something slick in them are plastic -- ah, no, there’s a metal spring in a bottle of lotion in the ensuite. He brings it to himself. He’d been wanking dry, too, but for the fact that he had enough pre-come to make things easier. The slight discomfort of wanking dry attuned his senses and that was usually why he did it, that and convenience, but now, with his hands slicked up with lotion, he has the feeling of having corrected a mistake. One hand glides more easily over his cock, the other presses those two fingers into himself, just a bit more.... _Charles_ , he thinks, with sudden urgency. _Charles_.

He considers using something in the room that’s made of metal to fuck himself, too, but there’s nothing suitable, and really, even if there were, he realizes it’s important for it to be Charles, first, if ever. No metal substituting for him. It’s Charles’ cock or nothing.

He thinks about Charles over him, proprietary, Charles’ hands all over him. Oh, even just the thought of Charles’ hands on him is enough to make him shudder. He’s starved for touch, has been for years. He thinks again of Charles in the water with him, wrapped firmly around him, not letting him go. Charles is not a big man, but he’s got substance to him, and strength, and it’s easy to imagine him pinning Erik down and fucking him. _Erik_ , he’d whisper in his ear, or send directly into his mind, making Erik shiver. _You’re so good for me, Erik_.

 _Only for you, Charles_ , Erik would reply.

Restless now, he presses his fingers in deeper, strokes himself faster. _Charles_ , he thinks, and gasps. _I’m yours, Charles_. A desperate, fierce need is running away with him, with a tang of bitter despair that makes him all the more frantic -- is this, here alone like this, the closest he can ever come to what he wants? The closest he can come to surrendering himself completely to Charles?

It’s no use -- it’s futile, he’s foolish and making himself ridiculous here. He’s grateful he’s alone.

His hand slows, as does his breathing, but after a few moments he imagines Charles coaxing him back into that former sense of urgency. Kissing and nipping at his neck, murmuring _Erik_ in a voice just for him, intimate and close to his skin. 

_Charles_ , he thinks about sighing back.

 _Erik. Erik, darling_. The infinite compassion in Charles’ low voice, the desire. The combination of the two is devastating. 

He wants to wrap his legs around Charles’ hips, his arms around Charles’ shoulders, to just let Charles -- to just let Charles. He almost sobs with how much he wants to just let go, to let Charles _take_.

 _You’ve been carrying your burden all alone for so long, Erik…. Of course you want someone to give over to, someone to trust_. 

_It means I'm weak_.

_It doesn't mean you're weak at all, Erik. You're the strongest person I know._

Erik lies still, blinking, disoriented, the world threatening to topple over on its axis.

_Oh, no, please, don’t stop._

Mortified, Erik keeps perfectly still. Charles, in his mind -- he can’t remember the point at which it was no longer his imagination -- is nothing but contrite. _Erik, no, don’t stop. I’m sorry -- I woke up, I felt you calling for me. I reached out without thinking, and--_

 _I wasn’t cal-- it wasn’t like that_.

_I thought you were having a nightmare. I see I was wrong. I didn’t mean to intrude. But…._

_Charles. Please._ Erik sags. _This is humiliating_. Even admitting his humiliation is embarrassing.

 _Erik, no. I don’t find you humiliated or diminished in the slightest. This is… this is beyond what I could have imagined. You are-- I don’t think you know how exquisite you are. Please, please keep going._ There’s a pause, and when Charles sends thoughts to him again, the supplication is gone and in its stead there is steel behind his words, just a touch of it. _Keep going, Erik. Let me see_.

That tone sends a tingle through Erik that he feels in his palms. He pictures Charles in his bed, on his back, blue eyes intent on the ceiling and unfocused slightly as he thinks about and at Erik, fingers at his temple, face flushed. From what he can tell from what Charles indicates, that’s in fact what Charles looks like right now. 

_Come on, Erik_.

Eyes closed, Erik renews his grip on his cock and starts to stroke again, as his fingers press in deeper yet. _Charles_. He rocks his hips, wanton, quickly building to a frantic need again as if he hadn’t been interrupted. Charles is in his mind, his presence almost like a caress, dominating his thoughts. He’s observing everything about Erik right now, the way he pants and arches his back, his incredible need for Charles, how utterly he belongs to Charles, yes, Erik lets himself admit it. He has to slow himself down, then, wanting to draw it out a little more, lest he come too soon.

Charles could do anything to him now: he could direct his thoughts, order or force him to do any number of things. Maybe in the future, he can. But right now, this is Erik’s show and Charles is watching from a front-row seat. 

The thought of that contained power sends a pulsing through Erik’s cock, and he’s gasping, coming, and it takes him a few dizzying moments to realize he’s being kissed as he comes, and by Charles, who has taken a firm grip on Erik’s hair. 

Erik comes so hard it almost hurts.

Charles is kissing him all over, and then Erik blinks up at him and watches as Charles strokes himself a few times and comes on Erik’s stomach, come mingling there with Erik’s. Charles kisses him again, properly, breathless but tender, a hand running up and down his side. Charles is so pleased with him; it hurts, how much he needs that.

In response, Charles’ thoughts directed at him are soothing; Erik catches a glimpse of Charles’ need for him, his intense desire to feel useful to him, the way he’s wanted Erik since he first saw him. 

_I felt as though I couldn’t get down here fast enough. Nearly tripped getting out of my pajama trousers once I got in the door_.

Erik huffs out a breath of laughter, breaking the kiss. “I’m sorry I missed that.” His throat is dry, his voice hoarse.

“Don’t be, you had far better things to occupy yourself with.” 

With a deep breath, Erik reaches to pull Charles down to him. The sensation of Charles’ bare skin all over his own is too much to take in. “Stay with me?” he says, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Charles presses a kiss to his neck. _Of course_.

Erik relaxes a bit, letting himself settle in more. He almost dozes off, when suddenly Charles’ voice is in his mind, a little bit wicked and sly. 

_My cock or nothing, eh?_

Erik groans.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, I'm super entertained by the idea of a needy Erik being overdramatic about how Charles Must Never Know while meanwhile Charles is like Of Course I Know, Also Yes Please.  
> Thanks to [niniblack](http://archiveofourown.org/users/niniblack/pseuds/niniblack) for looking this over!


End file.
